She was playing freely in the neighborhood, kicking the ball, racing with her friends, running and laughing at the top of her lungs, and suddenly, she found blood on her bedsheet.
Her lips curled, and she frowned with a mixture of sadness and fear.
Should she tell her mother that she is bleeding, or keep it a secret so as not to worry her?
But things became unbearable; the pain intensified, and the fear of death grew stronger.
(Mom… I want to tell you something, but please don’t be sad)
She whispered what she wanted to tell her mother, her eyes brimming with tears, and contrary to what she expected, her mother surprised her with congratulations (Congratulations, you’ve become a young woman).
The girl looked at her with questioning eyes, gave her a long dress, and warned her against laughing loudly in the street and playing with boys.
But her mother’s joy, and later the ululations of relatives and neighbors, initially filled her with pride. Soon, however, the contours of this new era in her life began to reveal additional constraints; all her actions became deliberate and calculated.
In the Syrian context, girls reaching puberty is not just about maturing; it is a slow assassination of innocence.
It is the moment when the last rug of safety is pulled out from under the feet of the Syrian girl, and she finds herself in direct confrontation with a world that no longer sees her as an innocent being, but as a woman burdened with responsibilities and risks.
And here begins a new phase of social and psychological pressures that crowd together with physical changes and the beginning of engagement in the open world of social media.
It is a moment when the mirror of childhood shatters, revealing a new face burdened by harsh societal expectations and an unforgiving digital reality.
This girl, who should have been worrying about her homework and toys, was now worrying about her body, her reputation, and the uncertain path of her future.
Early puberty under the weight of war
Studies indicate that severe psychological stress and malnutrition can lead to the phenomenon of “early puberty,” where a girl’s body is forced to mature before she is ready.
The Syrian girl, who lived her early years under bombardment or in displacement tents, carries in her memory the burden of fear and anxiety, which accelerates the pace of her physical growth.
This sudden change puts the girl face to face with a new reality:
The body suddenly becomes a subject of concern and surveillance, and society’s view changes from an innocent child to a “woman” who must be protected, or worse, getting rid of her burden.
This shift in perspective is the first sign of fragility; the girl loses her freedom of movement and expression, and is surrounded by a fence of moral and social expectations that did not exist in her childhood.
Hormonal changes that increase emotional sensitivity and make her more prone to depression and anxiety coincide with an environment that does not provide her with any space to express this inner storms.
She matures physically in an environment that rejects her emotional and psychological maturity, creating a deep rift in her development.
This premature maturity, which steals the innocence of childhood, forces her to wear the dress of responsibility and reserve prematurely.
She was a child yesterday, and a woman today, but in reality, she is a being suspended between two worlds, neither of which allows her to live in peace.
She is living through a bitter internal conflict between a body that screams for maturity and a soul that yearns for play and lost security, which doubles her fragility in the face of the simplest challenges.
Social pressures and their impact on Syrian girls
In the midst of war, poverty, and displacement, early marriage has emerged as an option presented as “protection,” but in reality, it steals her teenage years and throws her into responsibilities that are not appropriate for her age, such as early motherhood and exposure to gender-based violence.
In addition, the girl’s movement is greatly restricted, her social interaction is stifled, and she is deprived of opportunities for learning and leisure, so that she lives in isolation and constant fear of “what people will say.”
She is also burdened by societal expectations about body image, comparing herself to unrealistic standards, which exposes her to eating disorders and low self-esteem, especially with early puberty.
As for education, it becomes a dead end; many girls drop out of school and feel that the future is closed to them.
Thus, the girl finds herself trapped between being a “responsible and obedient woman” and maintaining an “innocence” that no longer suits her reality, generating a destructive internal conflict and exacerbating her psychological and social vulnerability.
In the camps, where traditional social structures are eroding, the focus on family honor and the girl’s behavior becomes the last remaining system to cling to, placing the girl under constant scrutiny and making any small mistake a potential breaking point for her reputation and that of her family.
She lives in a constant state of psychological alert, fearing a slide into the social “abyss”.
This fear is not just a passing feeling, but a complete system of imposed self-censorship, where every movement, every word, and every look becomes subject to interpretation and questioning.
In a society whose structure has been destroyed by war, “honor” becomes the only currency left, and the girl becomes the first and last guardian of this currency, depriving her of her most basic rights to experiment and make mistakes, and making her live under endless pressure.
Social media: A false window and a double-edged sword.
Puberty often coincides with exposure to the world of social media, adding a new and complex layer of vulnerability.
For Syrian girls, the small screen may be the only window to a “normal” and “stable” world that they have been deprived of, but at the same time, it turns into a new arena for pressure and comparison.
The illusion of perfection and comparison:
The girl is drowning in a sea of pictures and videos that show an ideal life, sculpted bodies, and dazzling successes that have no relation to her reality.
This stark contrast between the glossy virtual reality image and the harsh lived reality (displacement, poverty, insecurity) generates a chronic feeling of inadequacy and incompetence.
She seeks self-esteem in the number of likes and comments, making her self-worth hostage to merciless “algorithms”.
Cyberbullying and digital censorship:
Social media platforms become fertile ground for cyberbullying, which often targets teenage girls, especially in small, interconnected communities like Syrian society.
Negative comments about appearance, mockery of living conditions, or even threats to publish private information can cause serious psychological distress such as depression, anxiety, and loneliness.
In addition, the use of social media puts the girl under double scrutiny: the scrutiny of the family who fear “scandal”, and the scrutiny of the virtual community that does not forgive mistakes.
Detachment from reality:
Escaping into the digital world becomes a coping mechanism, but it is often a destructive one. Immersing oneself in this virtual world prevents a girl from confronting her painful reality, creating a constant feeling of “losing something important” (FOMO) and persistent anxiety.
She lives in a state of disorientation between two worlds, belonging completely to neither, which deepens her sense of existential fragility.
This digital separation from reality does not provide her with solace, but rather adds a new burden to her: the burden of trying to appear in a way that has no relation to her reality, and the burden of digital surveillance that may come from parents, peers, or even strangers, which turns the screen from a window into a transparent glass prison through which everyone watches her.
The profound psychological and social effects of girls reaching puberty
The Syrian girl lives in a state of vulnerability, not in the sense of absolute weakness, but rather in the sense of being excessively exposed to harm. She stands on the edge of a precipice, where any additional pressure, whether it be a negative comment on a photo or a harsh word from a relative, can push her over the edge.
It is a clear call to break the wall of silence surrounding this complex suffering from:
Identity disorders and self-erosion:
Difficulty in building a stable self-identity in light of the contradictions between reality and assumption.
Failure to meet hypothetical beauty standards or traditional social expectations leads to a lasting feeling of inferiority.
Self-harm and existential despair:
An increase in self-harming attempts as a mechanism for coping with unexpressed psychological pain.
Social isolation and chronic anxiety:
Withdrawal from real-life interactions stems from a fear of judgment or an inability to meet expectations. This withdrawal exacerbates chronic anxiety, fueled by fear of the unknown and surrounding threats.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD):
Puberty cannot be separated from the context of war. Refugee or displaced girls are particularly vulnerable to post-traumatic stress disorder, as memories of violence overlap with the stresses of puberty, making every physical or social change a “trigger” that revives the trauma.
From fragility to resilience: a glimmer of hope
The story of the Syrian girls in adulthood is a story of unfair endurance.
Puberty, which should have been a celebration of growth, has turned into a point of vulnerability where all the pains of Syrian women converge.
The girl stands at a crossroads between a rapidly growing body, a scrupulously monitoring society, and a virtual world that imposes impossible standards.
This fragility is not a weakness, but rather a logical result of the intersection of biological, social and digital crises.
But, at the heart of this fragility, lies a seed of resilience that cannot be ignored.
Awareness of these pressures is the first step towards change. Syrian society, both inside the country and in the diaspora, must realize that protecting girls begins with providing them with psychological security and education, not with marrying them off or restricting their freedom.
Providing psychological and social support, and securing safe spaces (whether educational or digital) where a girl can express herself without fear of judgment or exploitation, is the only way to transform this vulnerability into a latent strength.
The Syrian girl is not a permanent victim, but rather a witness to her era, and a survivor of its storms.
Puberty may be a point of vulnerability, but it is also a starting point towards a new awareness of the need to build oneself in the face of everything that tries to destroy it.
It is an invitation to Syrian society and the world at large to see these girls not as numbers in war statistics, but as young souls who deserve to blossom in safety and dignity.
Saving Syria’s future begins with saving the innocence of these girls, enabling them to get through this critical stage with the least amount of scarring, so that they can build the tomorrow they deserve.
